This will be my last year at my high school. Honestly, thank god. i have grown to really not like my school much. I know some interesting people, have some pretty chill friends, but still. i dont know the impact its left on me is not different than my other years of education. i somehow just, yeah its not good, its not really a time i ever like talking about. im not sure how it all works, becoming a grown-up. does it happen when you leave high school and enter college or come later. my thought is, you always have a choice to act like the grown up even when youre little, you just dont know it. im scared though, because i mean, im not the smartest, i need a 4.0 this year to pull up my total gpa from a 3.2 average over the years to a 3.4. even then , i probably wont get into a UC so i was thinking cal states.

Im also worried about where the school is, i mean, if i go far, shouldnt i just leave? but i cant leave i mean, i couldnt push myself to in my current status. too much to lose. perhaps if my status changed i would move far, start over, like D.C. area. but thats so scary. see im a stand still.

As for future worries there you go. as for now, i need to make this year seemingly ok. wish me luck for the future (: